Jan 11, 2011

I spent forever typing an update yesterday on my itouch (the way I do all my updates), and the internet wouldn't work and everything got deleted. So this will be a simplified version.

Mitchell is doing really well. Last week he got his stitches out from his biopsy and EVD surgeries and is healing magnificently. The skin is thin from steroids and radiation, but eventually it will thicken up again. His brother came Thursday night with Grandpa and Grandma, which made him very excited, and a special visitor--Uncle Derek from PA--came too! Although we missed the rest of his family, it was a very fun visit. On Saturday his cousins, the Holts, came as well as Aunt Heather. It was a low key, fun weekend. Mitchell is steadily improving every day. His stability is SO much better, and his steps too. He can take a few steps by himself, and many steps lightly balancing on our hand. It is so great to see. We also worked on crawling with him and although his left arm is still a little weak, he was able to crawl well enough with help. If nothing else his confidence has grown again and it's fun to see him want to do everything he used to do. His silliness has returned, which is also fun to see. We love our little boy so, so incredibly much!

We had sacrament brought in Sunday, and after had a little family devotional. Mitchell of course chose, "I Am a Child of God," and then Uncle Derek shared some thoughts. Without sharing too much of his personal information/experience, he has a son who was born with a heart malformity and has experienced a lot of the pains and fears we are going through. One thought in particular was recently felt by me very distinctly, so I'll share my version. On the 1st of January when we took Mitchell in for his horrible kidney stone pain, there was a point when he looked up at us and begged to leave, and essentially for all of this to go away. Killer. As much as I wanted to grab him and run, I knew it was best for him to receive help at the hospital so in the end he would feel better. In that moment, I saw very clearly how much Heavenly Father must want to take away our pains and trials of this world, but also how much we need them to become who we need to be so that we can experience happiness for eternity. Derek also mentioned Mosiah 23:21-22, which talks about patience and faith. If the Lord fulfilled our desires and wishes now, would we grow? It's easy to be faithful for a short while, but difficult to be continually tried again and again.

I received some links in an email yesterday for some webistes of other children with brainstem gliomas, and unfortunately these sweet angels had all passed away. Great families and beautiful children. Admittedly it took the wind out of my sails. Despite statistics, Chad reminds me that if the Lord's will is for Mitchell to live, his statistic is 100%. It is scary though and today I have been nervous. I took Mitchell to radiation without Chad today, and Mitch was looking up at the ceiling, which has a forest scene. Usually the anesthesiologist will tell us when she's inserting the propophol, but as I was looking at him, he closed his eyes and went limp. Do you see where my mind went? Anyhow, today I need some extra prayers for strength to be positive and keep the faith. Mitchell is a fighter and has already dealt with so much. If anyone can fight this ugly battle, then it's this special little angel.

On another note, there's another neuroblastoma family here now from Zillah. I HATE cancer!