February 15, 2011

I think I'm going to try to just do updates through the blog and skip the facebook route. We'll see how it goes.

We have been really enjoying our time at home. Of course the approaching MRI and onslaught of chemo attack brings me back to reality when I remember it's coming. I am trying to forget and move forward with my little ones in tow. Mitchell had a scary week or so where he suddenly just stopped eating, which hasn't been an issue for him at all during treatment. All he wanted was water, but we at least got him to drink some juice and eat very VERY tiny bites of various things. They had us begin zofran (anti-nausea) again, but it didn't seem to make a difference. We got blood work done and it came back normal. All I can guess is his body knows exactly what it's doing and it is possibly self-detoxing, flushing out all the yucky effects of cancer, chemo, radiation, etc.

He has made great progress with his motor skills. "Leftie" is a great helper again, and his legs are working as I previously mentioned! He still is not completely confident in his walking, but I know it will get better and better over time. His knee brace finally came and I think that made a big difference. His swelling from steroids is going down in his face and I finally feel like my little boy is coming back to me. He is enjoying his independence again.

We are patching his eye again since it opens so well, and sometimes I chuckle when I look at all his "patchwork": he still wears a bandage on his head because he keeps scratching his scabs on his incisions; his eyepatch; his knee brace; his pollywog in his right shoe; and his brace on his left ankle.

I have really struggled with completely trusting his care to the doctors--who I believe are amazing and have confidence in--because of a nagging feeling that there's more I need to be doing for him naturally. The problem is, because I am uneducated with natural methods I don't want to do anything that may harm him. With this conflict I discovered a naturopath in Seattle who is supposed to be really good and scheduled an appointment with him. He specializes in working with the primary cancer treatment and providing additional alternative treatments that won't harm the patient and hopefully amplify the end results.

Because of all this on my mind, plus my church calling, I feel I epitomize the definition of a "scatterbrain." You can tell by this post that clearly has no direction. Sorry. That's my life right now. Sign me up for some ritalin.

My mom is gone and that is very sad for me and the kids. She was a great help. I hope I can survive. My sweet in-laws are always here to help and I know I will depend upon them a lot. I'm trying to just take things day to day enjoying every moment. Last night we had a REALLY fun Valentine's party for FHE. Usually I'll admit I do extra festivities purely for the kids so they can have the fun memories. This time, however, it was for the kids of course, but it was also for me. I had so much fun with my sweet little family. I kept it pretty simple and it was perfect.

Also in this round of pics are some from our very special trip to Boise. We got to see a nephew through the temple, see two nephews ordained to the priesthood, and of course the pinnacle of achievement--Mitchell's walking. It was wonderful. I loved the time with my family and the kids loved their playtime with cousins.

Grandma was so kind to babysit for us so we could have a much needed laugh with some friends at dinner. The kids loved their Grandma being here.

Mitchell with his cousin Teagan who is two months younger and just received his second (I think) surgery to repair his clef palate. He looks perfect--it's amazing!

Mitch loves his cousin Tayven. All the cousins are so kind to Mitchell and helped him get around to play all the time. My mom kept saying, "See! You're getting hundreds of dollars of free physical therapy for him!"

My sweet littlest Valentine. She loves to put anything and everything in her mouth--gross! Everyone wanted to hold her, but only for short periods of time because she's too heavy.

We drove back late Sunday night, so Valentine breakfast was skimpy, but fun. Mitchell ate almost all of it. (So glad his appetite is back.)

We had a fun plain jane dinner and dance party afterward. Mitchell shook his booty and Jackson displayed some stellar moves.

For dessert: a giant heart-shaped chocolate chip cookie with ice cream, fudge, and whipped cream.

*I feel like Chad doesn't get a voice in all of this because it's me typing. I think he'd mostly say the same thing--although in a more positive way perhaps--but I just wanted to add that he is truly the most remarkable man. Mitchell is so deeply connected with his dad. I admit I get a little jealous when he wants his daddy, because I want a piece of him, but I understand. Chad is pretty awesome and I'd want him too. I feel so grateful to have him as my companion, especially after a trial like this. His confidence in our Heavenly Father, I am ashamed to say, has carried me through when mine has been shaky. He is a one of a kind and I cannot say enough about him.