Does anyone else feel like the world is falling apart right now? In the last few weeks, I've known of another family friend have a child diagnosed with a brain tumor; a family friend who lost a baby suddenly; friends leave the church; the Japanese earthquake/tsunami; a high school friend who was murdered and left behind a wife and five kids. Add to that all of the cancer issues with us and those we've met, it feels a bit like I'm in a bad dream. (That reminds me, will somebody pinch me, please?)
It's easy to feel depressed when we hear of events like these. We feel helpless, afraid, and question what exactly Heavenly Father is doing. This is the time we need to have faith and strength, remembering the Lord has a plan. As I thought of it yesterday--because I have been deeply affected by all of the above--I realized that although the storm is here, I have my poncho on and ready. It doesn't mean the rain isn't going to still hit me, or that I won't get hurt, but it does mean that much of the bad will slide off of me because I am protected by my poncho (testimony). I KNOW that we all will be tried whether from afar, or personally, and we must be ready WHEN that day comes (not IF).
I cannot describe in words how much peace I have felt at the hands of my Savior, Jesus Christ. When I feel that emptiness, I turn to the scriptures and ALWAYS find strength. I learn that when we have faith, the Lord can do great things in our lives. I learn that by the power of Jesus Christ's atonement, we can be carried through our trials and succored. I learn that our Father in Heaven has a plan and we can choose to be a force for good in that plan. Best of all, I learn that I am a child of God, that He loves me, will NEVER forsake me, and knows of my needs and sorrows. What a blessing it is to know these things when so much around me is sad and hopeless. I will NEVER remove my ''poncho,'' because I know that, "It is upon the rock of our redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all of his hail and mighty storms shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall" (Book of Mormon; Helaman 5:12).
Many outside of religion often scoff at us "believers" claiming we're ignorant. Even if this were true, which it is actually the opposite, I would much rather be ignorant and happy than "learned" and miserable.
Last of all, remember to be grateful. So many well-intentioned people say things like, "Oh you guys have been through so much, don't you deserve a break?" or "It's not fair you have to go through so much." Let me tell you, while I've often heard people say, "I'm grateful for my trials," I always thought they were crazy. Here I am today saying, "I'm grateful for my trials." Two reasons: 1.) I have learned it can ALWAYS be worse. Yes, I may or may not have to watch my son suffer a horrific death, but I think each day how there are women all over the world who watch their children starve to death thinking how they might have done something differently to prevent that. Or, at the hospital I always see children who are worse off than Mitchell. Not that I should compare, but it reminds me that I can get through my trial. It could be worse. 2.) I feel honored that I've been given this child, who I know was chosen to endure this gigantic feat before he came to earth. The Lord trusts me. He knows that not only will I endure this trial well, but that I will make it an opportunity to bless the lives of my family and those around us. That is what I am trying to do. That is what the Lord wants me to do. When I remember to be grateful for my life (because it's a pretty great one), I feel happy. I am grateful for today. I am grateful for how much more I love my children than I did a few months ago and how much more I know and love the Lord.
Do you have your poncho on? Is it strong and secure? If not, get it ready today--not tomorrow or next week--TODAY!
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3 comments:
Amy, I feel like you climbed inside my head today and wrote down all my thoughts. Its coming up to the 1 Year anniversary this week, of Chase being born on the 19th.. and died on the 21st. It has been a hard and difficult week. This past year has been full of ups and many downs... But, Like you,I have been blessed with sooo many blessings. I now experience and cherish the little things. I love my children with a deeper love that i feel few know. Im so greatful that i know without a doubt that Heavenly Father loves me... he cares about me.. he knows every little emotion and feeling im feeling and He blesses me. Its like he wrote the scriptures for me. The scriptures have provided so much comfort and its as if he was sitting with me talking to me, himself. He is so aware of us... all of us.. with every little thing. I have been blessed with an understanding and empathy for others that i would never have been able to help people like i can help them now. We are excited and look at things with an eternal perspective, the little things of life dont matter. I have been blessed with a pure and valiant spirit, that Heavenly Father has chosen to give to me. I have a solid testimony that wont be rocked. This past year i have been changed in so many ways, soo soo many blessings. I feel so close to you. I feel like i really know your heart. I feel like were twins in spirit. I love you Amy, you have really helped me today. You have helped me remember all the things that i have been blessed with, that when im sad i tend to forget. I love you, im thinking of you... and i know one day we will both experience a happiness and a joy that will be so amazing, our hearts will be full and we will look back and we will think of this time and wonder if it really was just a bad dream. xx Love your sister Bec xx
I can over to your blog because of Becky. Over the past year her story has touched me deeply and we have formed a friendship bond as well. Six years ago my grandson died three days after being born, very similar to Becky's story. Today I posted this: http://aroundtheblockdesigns.blogspot.com/2011/03/art-of-living-lies-in-fine-mingling-of.html
Your story has deeply touched my heart. You are now on my prayer list as well. There is no way I could have made it through the last six years without my faith and knowing that I WILL see Caleb again. My post from March 13 has a video of a song whose words have become very special to me. I always hesitate to recommend something because in my own case it always makes the tears roll down my face, but maybe one day you will feel like listening to it...
My prayers are with you.
Cindy
You are a rock and inspiration. Thank you for your testimony!
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